[ when des raises his eyes, it would strike him first and foremost that azrael herself (himself??? angel's shit be confusin') has changed forms to tell the rest of this part of the story. as a man, he has the same flowing blond hair, the same piercing blue eyes, and it would seem suddenly obvious that there's always been something masculine about the presence and posture of the angel, even as a female. while lucifer is attractive in human form, azrael in either form seems to go above and beyond, fulfilling every physical ideal of a gorgeous human. his voice is a surprise at first, as he continues on smoothly in a completely different timbre, but the same familiar intonations.
but his eyes are fixed up the beach, on a ghostly image that walks along it at a distance, oblivious to them. the woman is remarkably striking and as she walks and he describes her with a sort of reverence, she'd fade away slowly, as if never there at all.
Now, I had beheld scores of beautiful women! As I told you, when we first beheld the beauty of women... before men had become quite so smooth and hairless... it had been one of the shocks of Physical Evolution for angels. And of course during these three days, I had from afar studied many beautiful women. But, in my subterfuge, I hadn't dared to go very close. After all, I was in the flesh and trying to go unnoticed.
But three days, mark me, I had had this body. And the organs of this body, being perfectly made, responded at once to the sight of this woman, who came walking boldly along the banks of the sea, a rebel woman, without a guardian male or other females, a young, bold, slightly angry, long-haired and beautiful girl.
Her garment was no more than a coarse animal skin, with a chewed leather belt around it, and she was barefoot and her legs were naked from the knee down. Her hair was long and dark, and her eyes light - a beguiling combination. And her face very youthful, yet full of the character imparted to a face by anger and rebellion - a girl filled with pain and recklessness and some desire to do herself harm. You know precisely the kind.
She saw me.
She stopped, realizing her vulnerability. And I, never having bothered with garments, stood naked, looking at her. And the organ in me wanted her, wanted her immediately and violently; and I felt the first promise of what that union might be like. That is, the first stirring of real desire. For three days, I had lived by the mind as an angel. Now the body spoke and I listened with an angel's ears.
She meantime did not run from me, but took several steps closer; and in her reckless heart made a resolution, based upon what experience I couldn't know, not yet being able to read into a soul, but she made it; that she would open her arms to me if I wanted her. And with the smoothest, most graceful movement of her hips, and with a gesture of her right hand, lifting her hair and then dropping it, she let me know.
I went to her and she took my hand and led me up those rocks, there, to where the cave is, you can see it, just over your left shoulder and up the slope. She took me there, and by the time we reached the entrance, I realized that she was flaming for me as I was flaming for her.
She was no virgin, this girl. Whatever her story, she was not ignorant of passion. She knew what it was, and she wanted it, and the lunge of her hips towards me was deliberate, and when she kissed me, and put her tongue into my mouth, she knew what she sought.
I was overcome. For one instant I held her back, merely to look at her, in her mysterious material beauty, a thing of flesh and decay that nevertheless rivaled any angel I'd ever seen, and then I gave her back her kisses, brutally, making her laugh and push her breasts against me.
Within seconds, we had fallen down together on the mossy floor of the cave as I had seen mortals do a thousand times. And when my organ went inside of her, when I felt the passion, I knew then what no angel could possibly know! It had nothing to do with reason, or observation, or sympathy, or listening, or learning, or trying to grasp. I was in her flesh and consumed with lust, and so was she, and her tender muscles clamped down upon me as if she meant to devour me, and as I thrust inside of her, again and again, she went blood-red in her consummation, and her eyes rolled back into her head and her heart stood still.
I came at the same moment. I felt the seed shoot from my body into her. My body continued to writhe with the same rhythm, and then the feeling, the indescribably and wholly new feeling, slowly ebbed and went away.
I lay exhausted beside her, my arm over her, and my mouth sought the side of her face and kissed her; and I said in her language, in a rush of words, 'I love you, I love you, I love you, sweet and beautiful creature, I love you!'
And to this she gave a yielding and respectful smile, and snuggled close to me, and then seemed about to weep. Her carelessness had led her to a tenderness! Her soul suffered insider her, and I felt it through the palms of her hands!
But in me there was a tumult of knowledge! I had felt the orgasm - felt the highly developed physical and emotional sensations that come to fulfillment when humans sexually mate! I stared at the ceiling of the cave, unable to move, unable to speak.
Then very gradually, I realized something had startled her. She clung to me, then she rose on her knees, and she ran away.
I sat up. The light had come down from Heaven! It was coming down from Heaven and it was God's light and it was looking for me! I rushed to my knees and to my feet and ran out into the light.
'Here I am Lord!' I cried. 'Lord, I am full of joy! Lord, God, what I have felt, Lord!' And I let out a great anthem, and as I did so the material particles of my body dissolved about me, shorn off by me, almost as if by the power of my angel voice, and I rose to my full height and spread my wings and sang in thanks to Heaven, for what I had known in this woman's arms.
The voice of God came quiet yet full of wrath.
'Azrael!' He said. 'You are an Angel! What is an Angel, a Son of God, doing with a Daughter of Men!'
Before I could answer, the light had withdrawn and left me with the whirlwind, and turning, my wings caught in it, I saw the mortal woman was only there, at the bank of the sea, and that she had seen and heard something inexplicable to her, and now in terror she fled.
She ran and I was carried upwards to the very gates of Heaven, and then those gates for the first time took on height and shape for me as they had for you, and they were slammed shut against me, and the Light struck me and down I went, forced down, plummeting as you plummeted in my arms, only I was alone, alone as I was slammed again, invisible, but bruised and broken and crying, against the wet earth.
'You, my Watcher, what have you done!' said the voice of God, small and certain by my ear.
I started to weep, uncontrollably. 'Lord, God, this is a terrible misunderstanding. Let me...let me lay my case before you....'
'Stay with the mortals you love so much!' He said. 'Let them minister to you, for I will not listen until my anger is cooled. Embrace the flesh you crave, and with which you are polluted. You won't come into my sight again until I send for you, and that shall be my choice.'
The wind rose again, swirling, and as I turned over on my back, I realized I was wingless, and in the flesh once more and the size of a man.
I was in the body I had created for myself, generously reassembled for me by the Almighty, down to the last cell, and I lay hurting and aching and weak on the ground, moaning, and sad.
I had never heard myself cry before with a human voice. I was not loud. I was not full of challenge or desperation. I was too sure of myself still as an Angel. I was too sure God loved me. I knew He was angry, yes, but He'd been angry with me many, many times before.
What I felt was the agony of separation from Him! I could not at will ascend to Heaven! I could not leave this flesh. And as I sat up and lifted my arms, I realized I was trying to do this with my whole being, and I couldn't do it, and then sadness came over me, so great, so lonely, and so total that I could only bow my head.
no subject
but his eyes are fixed up the beach, on a ghostly image that walks along it at a distance, oblivious to them. the woman is remarkably striking and as she walks and he describes her with a sort of reverence, she'd fade away slowly, as if never there at all.
♬ sanctified - nine inch nails ]
Now, I had beheld scores of beautiful women! As I told you, when we first beheld the beauty of women... before men had become quite so smooth and hairless... it had been one of the shocks of Physical Evolution for angels. And of course during these three days, I had from afar studied many beautiful women. But, in my subterfuge, I hadn't dared to go very close. After all, I was in the flesh and trying to go unnoticed.
But three days, mark me, I had had this body. And the organs of this body, being perfectly made, responded at once to the sight of this woman, who came walking boldly along the banks of the sea, a rebel woman, without a guardian male or other females, a young, bold, slightly angry, long-haired and beautiful girl.
Her garment was no more than a coarse animal skin, with a chewed leather belt around it, and she was barefoot and her legs were naked from the knee down. Her hair was long and dark, and her eyes light - a beguiling combination. And her face very youthful, yet full of the character imparted to a face by anger and rebellion - a girl filled with pain and recklessness and some desire to do herself harm. You know precisely the kind.
She saw me.
She stopped, realizing her vulnerability. And I, never having bothered with garments, stood naked, looking at her. And the organ in me wanted her, wanted her immediately and violently; and I felt the first promise of what that union might be like. That is, the first stirring of real desire. For three days, I had lived by the mind as an angel. Now the body spoke and I listened with an angel's ears.
She meantime did not run from me, but took several steps closer; and in her reckless heart made a resolution, based upon what experience I couldn't know, not yet being able to read into a soul, but she made it; that she would open her arms to me if I wanted her. And with the smoothest, most graceful movement of her hips, and with a gesture of her right hand, lifting her hair and then dropping it, she let me know.
I went to her and she took my hand and led me up those rocks, there, to where the cave is, you can see it, just over your left shoulder and up the slope. She took me there, and by the time we reached the entrance, I realized that she was flaming for me as I was flaming for her.
She was no virgin, this girl. Whatever her story, she was not ignorant of passion. She knew what it was, and she wanted it, and the lunge of her hips towards me was deliberate, and when she kissed me, and put her tongue into my mouth, she knew what she sought.
I was overcome. For one instant I held her back, merely to look at her, in her mysterious material beauty, a thing of flesh and decay that nevertheless rivaled any angel I'd ever seen, and then I gave her back her kisses, brutally, making her laugh and push her breasts against me.
Within seconds, we had fallen down together on the mossy floor of the cave as I had seen mortals do a thousand times. And when my organ went inside of her, when I felt the passion, I knew then what no angel could possibly know! It had nothing to do with reason, or observation, or sympathy, or listening, or learning, or trying to grasp. I was in her flesh and consumed with lust, and so was she, and her tender muscles clamped down upon me as if she meant to devour me, and as I thrust inside of her, again and again, she went blood-red in her consummation, and her eyes rolled back into her head and her heart stood still.
I came at the same moment. I felt the seed shoot from my body into her. My body continued to writhe with the same rhythm, and then the feeling, the indescribably and wholly new feeling, slowly ebbed and went away.
I lay exhausted beside her, my arm over her, and my mouth sought the side of her face and kissed her; and I said in her language, in a rush of words, 'I love you, I love you, I love you, sweet and beautiful creature, I love you!'
And to this she gave a yielding and respectful smile, and snuggled close to me, and then seemed about to weep. Her carelessness had led her to a tenderness! Her soul suffered insider her, and I felt it through the palms of her hands!
But in me there was a tumult of knowledge! I had felt the orgasm - felt the highly developed physical and emotional sensations that come to fulfillment when humans sexually mate! I stared at the ceiling of the cave, unable to move, unable to speak.
Then very gradually, I realized something had startled her. She clung to me, then she rose on her knees, and she ran away.
I sat up. The light had come down from Heaven! It was coming down from Heaven and it was God's light and it was looking for me! I rushed to my knees and to my feet and ran out into the light.
'Here I am Lord!' I cried. 'Lord, I am full of joy! Lord, God, what I have felt, Lord!' And I let out a great anthem, and as I did so the material particles of my body dissolved about me, shorn off by me, almost as if by the power of my angel voice, and I rose to my full height and spread my wings and sang in thanks to Heaven, for what I had known in this woman's arms.
The voice of God came quiet yet full of wrath.
'Azrael!' He said. 'You are an Angel! What is an Angel, a Son of God, doing with a Daughter of Men!'
Before I could answer, the light had withdrawn and left me with the whirlwind, and turning, my wings caught in it, I saw the mortal woman was only there, at the bank of the sea, and that she had seen and heard something inexplicable to her, and now in terror she fled.
She ran and I was carried upwards to the very gates of Heaven, and then those gates for the first time took on height and shape for me as they had for you, and they were slammed shut against me, and the Light struck me and down I went, forced down, plummeting as you plummeted in my arms, only I was alone, alone as I was slammed again, invisible, but bruised and broken and crying, against the wet earth.
'You, my Watcher, what have you done!' said the voice of God, small and certain by my ear.
I started to weep, uncontrollably. 'Lord, God, this is a terrible misunderstanding. Let me...let me lay my case before you....'
'Stay with the mortals you love so much!' He said. 'Let them minister to you, for I will not listen until my anger is cooled. Embrace the flesh you crave, and with which you are polluted. You won't come into my sight again until I send for you, and that shall be my choice.'
The wind rose again, swirling, and as I turned over on my back, I realized I was wingless, and in the flesh once more and the size of a man.
I was in the body I had created for myself, generously reassembled for me by the Almighty, down to the last cell, and I lay hurting and aching and weak on the ground, moaning, and sad.
I had never heard myself cry before with a human voice. I was not loud. I was not full of challenge or desperation. I was too sure of myself still as an Angel. I was too sure God loved me. I knew He was angry, yes, but He'd been angry with me many, many times before.
What I felt was the agony of separation from Him! I could not at will ascend to Heaven! I could not leave this flesh. And as I sat up and lifted my arms, I realized I was trying to do this with my whole being, and I couldn't do it, and then sadness came over me, so great, so lonely, and so total that I could only bow my head.