He would never have fit the bill either. [ lucifer is doing his best to not laugh at you des, you're adorable. ] He was looking for a Saint, not a cynic.
'Lord, that's not true,' I said to him. 'You've gotten it wrong. Utterly. Oh I see what's happened.'
'You do? What are you trying to say to me? That I, the Lord God, having spent 30 years in this body, have not struck the truth?'
'But that's just it! You've known all along you were God. You mentioned there were times when you thought you were mad or almost forgot, but those were brief! Too brief! And now as you plot your death, you know Who you are and You won't forget it, will you?'
'No, I won't. I must be the Son of God Incarnate to fulfill my ministry, to work my miracles, of course. That's the whole point.'
'Then Lord, you don't know what it means to be flesh!'
'How dare you assume that you do, Lucifer.'
'Lord, when you left Azrael in his fleshly body, when you cast him down for the Daughters of Men to heal and care for, in the early centuries of this very land, he had no promise you would take him back to Heaven. Lord, you're not playing fair in this experiment. You've known all along you're going back, you're going back to be God! You cannot expect man to do as you have done, without that assurance! Man will break under such pressure.'
'Who better than I can understand what this flesh feels!' He demanded.
'Somebody who doesn't fully rest assured that He is the immortal Creator of the Universe,' I said. 'Any mortal man hanging on a cross now on Golgotha outside Jerusalem would know better than you!'
His eyes grew wide as He stared at me. But He didn't challenge me. His silence unnerved me. And once again, the power of His expression, the radiance of God in man dazzled me, and drew upon the angel in me to simply shut up and fall at His feet. But I wouldn't do it!
'Lord, even when I went to the Void,' I said, 'I didn't know whether or not I'd ever come back to Heaven. Don't you see? I don't claim to have your understanding of anything. We wouldn't be talking here if I did. But I didn't have any promise I would be allowed back into Heaven, don't you see? So the suffering and darkness spoke to me and taught me, because I took the risk that I might never overcome it. Don't you see?'
He considered this a long time and then He shook His head sadly. 'Lucifer, you are the one who has failed to understand. When is Humankind closest to God than when they suffer for the love of another, when they die so that another might live, when they plunge towards certain death for the protection of those they leave behind or those truths about Life which Creation has taught them?'
'But the world doesn't need all that, Lord! No, no, no. It doesn't need the blood, the suffering, the war. That wasn't what taught Humans to love! Animals already did all that bloody, horrible catastrophe to one another. What taught Humans was the warmth and affection of another, the love for a child, the love in a mate's arms, the capacity to understand another's suffering and want to protect the other, to rise above savagery into the formation of the clan and tribe that would mean peace and security for all!'
There came a long silence. And then very tenderly He laughed. 'Lucifer, my angel. What you and Azrael learnt of life you learnt in bed.'
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'Lord, that's not true,' I said to him. 'You've gotten it wrong. Utterly. Oh I see what's happened.'
'You do? What are you trying to say to me? That I, the Lord God, having spent 30 years in this body, have not struck the truth?'
'But that's just it! You've known all along you were God. You mentioned there were times when you thought you were mad or almost forgot, but those were brief! Too brief! And now as you plot your death, you know Who you are and You won't forget it, will you?'
'No, I won't. I must be the Son of God Incarnate to fulfill my ministry, to work my miracles, of course. That's the whole point.'
'Then Lord, you don't know what it means to be flesh!'
'How dare you assume that you do, Lucifer.'
'Lord, when you left Azrael in his fleshly body, when you cast him down for the Daughters of Men to heal and care for, in the early centuries of this very land, he had no promise you would take him back to Heaven. Lord, you're not playing fair in this experiment. You've known all along you're going back, you're going back to be God! You cannot expect man to do as you have done, without that assurance! Man will break under such pressure.'
'Who better than I can understand what this flesh feels!' He demanded.
'Somebody who doesn't fully rest assured that He is the immortal Creator of the Universe,' I said. 'Any mortal man hanging on a cross now on Golgotha outside Jerusalem would know better than you!'
His eyes grew wide as He stared at me. But He didn't challenge me. His silence unnerved me. And once again, the power of His expression, the radiance of God in man dazzled me, and drew upon the angel in me to simply shut up and fall at His feet. But I wouldn't do it!
'Lord, even when I went to the Void,' I said, 'I didn't know whether or not I'd ever come back to Heaven. Don't you see? I don't claim to have your understanding of anything. We wouldn't be talking here if I did. But I didn't have any promise I would be allowed back into Heaven, don't you see? So the suffering and darkness spoke to me and taught me, because I took the risk that I might never overcome it. Don't you see?'
He considered this a long time and then He shook His head sadly. 'Lucifer, you are the one who has failed to understand. When is Humankind closest to God than when they suffer for the love of another, when they die so that another might live, when they plunge towards certain death for the protection of those they leave behind or those truths about Life which Creation has taught them?'
'But the world doesn't need all that, Lord! No, no, no. It doesn't need the blood, the suffering, the war. That wasn't what taught Humans to love! Animals already did all that bloody, horrible catastrophe to one another. What taught Humans was the warmth and affection of another, the love for a child, the love in a mate's arms, the capacity to understand another's suffering and want to protect the other, to rise above savagery into the formation of the clan and tribe that would mean peace and security for all!'
There came a long silence. And then very tenderly He laughed. 'Lucifer, my angel. What you and Azrael learnt of life you learnt in bed.'