CLOSED ♔ like a ghost in my head

[behindcloseddoors]

♬ ghost in my head - niva

WHO || Archer, ???? [Closed]
WHAT || Archer vs. the Hourglass
WHERE || The hotel to ???
WHEN || An hour after this
HOW || Actionspam.

Wherever Archer is, whatever Archer's doing, an hour after flipping the glass over, the sands will run out.

And he'll disappear from wherever he was, as if a giant icy black hand had just reached down and enveloped him. And he needs to make a Fortitude save of 15+ to not pass out instantly from the chilling darkness suddenly swallowing him up.

Comments

[isisagent]

[Rolled a 12... Action Point? Rolled a 22! Woo!]

[Archer looks around;]

Hey. ...

...

Francesca?

...


...


Silent Treatment? Real Mature.

[behindcloseddoors]

[ ♬ original sin - yasushi ishii

archer fights off the roiling waves of helpless dread admirably, but what he sees when the darkness starts to dissolve around him enough for his eyes to semi adjust as a few torches dramatically flare up violet lights on either side of a dais about fifty feet in front of him doesn't really make that will save very comforting.

the entire length of the room is something carved out of a nightmare-scape, and seems to bend oppressively around him, as if the entire room were continuously distorting, rather than sticking to any static rules of matter. the strange dark purple material that makes up the floors and pillars and walls pulses, and a good spot check might be enough to catch a glimpse of an ever-changing kaleidoscope of images within them, each more nightmarish than the last - contorted faces hollowing in despair, spiders exploding out of mouths, hideous monsters whose limbs are bent at extreme angles turning to look towards him.

and on the towering throne itself sits a figure who radiates malevolence, a dark elf with spiked armor and eyes that are nothing but black sunken pits. at his side is a sword from which radiates steams of black miasma, and he watches archer with clear anticipation. there's also a sense that they're not alone here - that a million things are lurking in the shadows, watching, and waiting.

the drow beckons archer forward with one hand ominously. ]

[isisagent]

... Oooooooookaaaaaaaay.

One of my stranger drug-induced hallucinations. Hey, Kanye, shouldn't you be like a white rabbit, or something? ...And who does your decorating [He looks around the nightmare-scape...] Rob Zombie?

[behindcloseddoors]

[ a thousand whispering voices seem to suddenly claw at the corners of archer's brain, and a single deeper, clear voice rises above them - the man on the throne speaking directly to archer's mind. ]

You are privileged to stand before the seat of Malaak'a, Sterling Archer. [ the name manages to drip with contempt. ] You are not the first I expected to answer this call, and yet...

[ he steeples his fingers, leaning forward ever so slightly ] You will do.

[isisagent]

That's.... unnecessarily foreboding... Anyway - I don't work for free. And I don't discuss business without several drinks... where's the hospitality, guy?

[behindcloseddoors]

[ the black pits of his eyes seem to roil with dark fire and for a moment, there seems to exist the possibility that he's going to drain archer dry and serve him his own blood. but instead, he waves a hand with a direct, sharp motion, and a small obsidian table with spider web designs up the base appears in front of archer, along with a cup filled to the brim with alcohol.

archer's favorite alcohol, even. ]

Drink.

[isisagent]

[Would not be the first time he's drank blood. Maybe his own would fit his tastes better?]

[He gladly drinks with no hesitation whatsoever.]

More spider webs? [He points at the table.] Isn't it about time to switch over to the Christmas decorations?

[behindcloseddoors]

You stand in the sacred halls of the Lord of Webs. Among many titles.

Look into the glass. [ he gestures to the cup Archer's holding. ] Concentrate.

[isisagent]

Concentration and Alcohol mix about as well as Halloween decorations and Christmas. [Archer frowns, and stares into the glass.] What am I looking for, Hakuna-Matata?

[behindcloseddoors]

That which you thirst for most deeply. [ the (remaining) liquid in the glass shimmers a bit and suddenly archer would find himself drawn into a visceral volley of images that consist of basically everything he has ever wanted most. Including being made Dragon's Claw as he so rightly deserves by his best buddy Wynn and having wild parties alongside the boss. Also Burt Reynolds is probably in there. And an airboat. ]

[isisagent]

...An all Burt Reynolds cast remake of Gator?

[behindcloseddoors]

Those things you desire most, the power lies within your grasp to enact them. That is the offer I make to you, Sterling Archer. Are you strong enough to take it?

[isisagent]

Uh... Duh? [Archer looks up from the glass, sneering incredulously.] I'm ISIS's top fiend agent.

[behindcloseddoors]

[ top fiend agent, huh.

the drow god seems unaffected by archer's sneer attack. ] Name what power you would desire, an ability to help you achieve these ends, and it will be yours.

[isisagent]

[Oh damn. field*]

Well... I mean, we're gonna need at least ten Burt Reyolds clones, probably more. Not to mention the original set, and props. Also, a badass fanboat... For starters.

[behindcloseddoors]

[ his lip curls slightly and he drums his fingers against the arm of his chair ]

These are objects you desire. What I offer you is one gift, to help you take these things for your own. A silver tongue, control over the minds of others...

One gift.

[isisagent]

Alright buddy, which is it? Halloween, or Christmas? You're decorating with spiderwebs, and giving out fucking gifts?

[Archer laughs, and takes a sip of his drink.]

Besides, I've already got a silver tongue - and these rugged good looks... Not to mention my Krav Maga skills, and Dionysus' liver... AND the coolest fucking spy car the world has ever seen. What could you give me that I don't already have?

[behindcloseddoors]

Time.

Would you turn down eternal life? Or perhaps a powerful servant, to attend your every whim? I can make you tougher to kill, faster than other mortals, able to turn invisible on command. Strength, money, the ability to enthrall the minds of others...

[isisagent]

Eternal Life... [Archer grins.] Heh - Yeah, whatever you say Juan Ponce de le-douche tits. Didn't I already tell you I'm ISIS's top field agent? I already am tougher, faster, and just generally better than everyone else. Fuck, the only problem I ever had was money... but now I've got a golden ticket.

Why don't we just call us even on the drink, and you get back to the party planning. [He snickers.] Don't forget to set out some of that shitty fake-brain "spaghetti."

...Is there going to be a band?

[behindcloseddoors]

[ a scowl works its way across his features, and he leans forward slightly ] I do not grant this offer twice. I will ask you once more, and then you will be gone from my sight eternally.

Will you accept my gift, or perish with the other fools who seek to oppose me?

[isisagent]

[Archer spits his drink out all over, and laughs uproariously.]

Wait... wait... Hahahaha! Wait - So let me get this straight; you're like... a Black Killer-Halloween-Santa Claus?

[An idea occurs, as Archer continues to laugh...]

OH MY GOD!

Does that mean you have adorable little worker Elves?!

[behindcloseddoors]

[ his patience seems shot by archer's outburst and with a low growl noise in his throat he waves a hand and the table and glass vanish into dark smoke, as the walls of the place seem to both elongate and shrink simultaneously, creating a dizzying claustrophobic sensation. ] I've heard enough. Remember when your doom comes, mortal, that you had this chance, and laughed in the face of your destroyer. [ and then archer is falling, falling into darkness... and wakes back up again in the hotel room. you are free to make a thread on the last social post of him waking and link it for everyone! ]